Let’s Not Lose Our Hearts

On kindness, cold love, and the slow drift into self

Beloved friend,

“Be wicked! Good people die early!”

“If they do you dirty, do them worse!”

“Give them a taste of their own medicine; double dose!”

“Don’t let anyone play you twice.”

These, and more, are the kinds of mantras the world is handing out daily like sweets. And if we’re being honest, we’re slowly taking them in. One quote, one hurt, one betrayal at a time; we’re internalizing them. And it’s starting to show.

Kindness is becoming a rare commodity. Compassion now feels like naivety. Love is measured. Generosity is calculated. Forgiveness is rationed. We’re slowly losing our softness. And I know that’s not what God had in mind for us.

Scripture says, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

It also says, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil… if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:17–18).

And “Let all that you do be done in love” (1 Corinthians 16:14).

But where is that now?

It’s like we only show kindness if we know there’s a benefit.

We’re kind because it fits into our larger goal.

We give because we want to unlock favor.

We serve because it makes us look good or because there’s a return attached.

Even in relationships, we want 100% ROI and when we don’t get it, we feel cheated; like we were foolish for even trying.

You hear things like, “Don’t pour from an empty cup,” which is wise, but if not handled with truth, it starts becoming an excuse to self-protect rather than love radically.

Before you know it, we’ve turned even our walk with God into a transaction.

We talk to Him only when there’s something urgent to pray about.

We give only when we’ve been told there’s a blessing tied to it.

We thank Him when we’re in a good season, not because He’s worthy always, but because we got what we wanted.

But God weighs the motives of our hearts.

“All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord” (Proverbs 16:2).

Even our good deeds don’t count for much when the motive behind them is selfish.

When love and compassion grow cold, there’s very little left to anchor a life.

Jesus said in Matthew 24:12, “Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold.”

That’s a warning. A real one.

Not everyone’s love; just most. May we not be in that number.

Kindness was never meant to be strategic.

It was always supposed to be an overflow of our walk with God, of our understanding of grace.

We forgive because we’ve been forgiven.

We give because we’ve been freely given to.

We serve because Christ served.

We love because He first loved us.

That’s the pattern. That’s the posture.

It’s not easy, but it’s what we’ve been called to.

We’re not to be hardened by the world’s coldness.

We’re to remain rooted in God’s warmth.

And if you feel your heart getting cold; maybe you’ve been hurt, used, ignored, overlooked… please don’t seal it shut. Let God tend to it. Let Him soften you again.

There’s power in compassion. There’s strength in kindness. There’s glory in doing good, even when it’s not returned.

You know how sometimes, you experience kindness from a complete stranger and it leaves you stunned? Like when someone covers your transport fare, points you in the right direction, warns you of impending danger in an environment, stands up for you when you’re being oppressed, or says the right words at the exact moment you needed to hear them? In those moments, it feels like a love message from God, like Abba was watching and whispered, “I see you.”

So why hold that back from others? Why not be that for someone else too?

“As He is, so are we in this world” (1 John 4:17).

That scripture is not only about casting out devils or working miracles. Sometimes, it’s about being the miracle.

Your kindness can be the deliverance someone needs from a mindset of rejection, fear, or unworthiness.

Your simple act of compassion can preach a gospel louder than your mouth ever could.

Stay soft, beloved. Stay rooted.

This world needs your light.

With thoughts of kindness,

ABBA’s Shofar