Stop Struggling With Help
Learning to Embrace the Help God Sends Your Way.
Beloved Friend,
It’s hard to believe we’re already at the final letter for the year. The next time I write to you, we’ll be in 2025 by God’s grace. How does time fly so quickly? I hope this letter finds you cozied up and reflecting on all the ways God has been faithful to you this year.
Now, let’s get into today’s story; because wow, do I have one for you.
You see, I’ve always been the type of person who struggles to ask for help. I mean really struggles. Picture me fighting with the zip of my dress, my arms contorted in ways only a gymnast would understand, while someone is literally standing right there, ready to assist. Or imagine me on public transport, someone offering to pay my fare, and me declining with a sheepish, “Don’t worry, I’ve got it”, when, deep down, I know I could use the help.
Recently, my sister bought packs of malt and Fayrouz (yes, packs, not just a few bottles). I came home from a long day at work, saw the drinks sitting outside waiting for me to carry them inside. I almost fainted. Before I could even sigh in frustration, her neighbor saw me and offered to help by sending her kids. But what did I do? I immediately ran an analysis in my head:
These kids were playing games and having fun.
I’d be dragging them out of their comfort zone.
There were too many packs. Would I compensate them enough?
Instead of calling them, I started hauling the drinks myself. After a few trips, the kids came anyway and joined me. When we finished, I gave them the loose change I had, and their mother wasn’t pleased. She told me I was making a habit of rewarding them for every little thing, which wasn’t a great way to raise children. I felt guilty for giving the money, but also guilty for not giving them enough.
Do you see the problem? Even when I accept help, I’ve usually wrestled with it in my mind first.
If you gifted me something, I’d immediately start thinking of ways to reciprocate, even if I couldn’t return the favor right away. And when I can’t, I carry this burden around, constantly looking for ways to make it even. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the gesture, it’s just that I can’t seem to receive without worrying about giving back.
The Holy Spirit has been dealing with me on this, reminding me to be comfortable receiving help. You’re not meant to do life alone. As we step into a new year, one of the ways God will bring your dreams to life is through people. He’ll send men (yes, humans; I don’t mean just Adam!) to help you. Men who genuinely want to help because God put it in their hearts.
Don’t reject His love or frustrate His grace. When you decline help out of pride, fear, or overthinking, you may be turning away God’s provision. Proverbs 18:1 warns, “A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; he rages against all wise judgment.”
Now, let’s pause for a moment to clarify something: not every gift or offer of help is from God. The enemy is crafty, and sometimes what seems like help can be a distraction or even a trap. Proverbs 27:6 says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” While we should be open to receiving help, we must also be discerning. Seek God’s guidance, and test the spirits to see if they are from Him (1 John 4:1).
Let’s look at some examples from scripture:
Moses: When Jethro, his father-in-law, suggested delegating responsibilities, Moses listened and found relief (Exodus 18:13-24). Imagine if Moses had dismissed the advice, thinking he could handle it all alone!
Naaman: This mighty warrior initially resisted Elisha’s simple instruction to dip in the Jordan River for healing. His pride almost cost him his miracle (2 Kings 5:9-14). Sometimes, the help God sends might seem beneath us, but we must trust Him.
Elijah: God sent ravens to feed Elijah during a famine (1 Kings 17:2-6). Elijah could have questioned how unclean birds could bring provision, but he didn’t. He accepted it as God’s help.
The Good Samaritan: The injured man didn’t reject the Samaritan’s help, even though Jews and Samaritans didn’t associate with each other (Luke 10:25-37). God’s help can come through unexpected vessels.
To my friends who dislike asking for help: I get it. Maybe you’ve had terrible experiences or traumas that make you hesitant. But not everyone who offers to help you has a hidden agenda. Some people are truly sent by God. Remember James 1:17: “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights.”
At the same time, this isn’t an excuse to burden others. Be mindful not to drain the people around you with constant demands. Scripture says in Philippians 2:4, “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” Let’s be balanced; asking for help when needed, offering help where we can, and trusting God for discernment.
For those who don’t struggle with asking for help, I celebrate you! But if you notice people in your life who resist your assistance, don’t take it personally. Some are still learning to accept kindness, while others may be healing from past wounds. Give them grace.
As we prepare for 2025, let’s embrace a God-centered attitude toward help. If you’re the giver, be sensitive to God’s leading. If you’re the receiver, remember John 3:27: “A man can receive nothing unless it has been given to him from heaven.” Every act of kindness is a reflection of God’s hand in your life.
Beloved, whether you’re the one zipping or the one unzipping, let’s step into the new year knowing we don’t have to do it alone. God’s got you; and He’s sending help your way.
With thoughts of kindness,
ABBA’s Shofar