Wisdom Comes at a Price
Some lessons are taught. Others are learned the hard way.
Beloved Friend,
You ever hear a proverb so many times that it stops being just words and starts feeling like a warning carved into your soul? My mother used to say, “There are some dances that people will dance, and they’ll be sprayed money. Others will do the same dance, and masquerades will flog them.” I laughed when I first heard it, but let me tell you, life made sure I understood.
I remember in secondary school when some of my classmates started jumping out of the classroom window to avoid being flogged. It was working for them. So, of course, I joined in. But right around the time I jumped, the tide turned. They caught the next batch of us, and we received the very flogging we were trying to escape. Then there was the time I let myself be convinced to join one of those money circles: bring ₦1,000, and when the chain completes, you get ₦5,000. People were cashing out. But when I joined? Everything stopped. Not a single kobo returned to me.
“Godly wisdom is learned by costly experience.” (Proverbs 17:27, AMP)
Some wisdom is learned through scars. The Holy Spirit may whisper, Don’t go there, but sometimes, we go anyway. And then, when the reality of our choices hits, we suddenly understand why obedience would have been the easier path. You learn the weight of dishonor after speaking out of turn. You learn the value of purity after settling for what felt convenient. You learn the power of patience after running ahead of God and watching things crumble. You learn discernment after trusting the wrong person and paying dearly for it.
I’ve found myself asking God to correct my motives more times than I can count; motives I didn’t even realize were faulty until the Holy Spirit exposed them. Because sometimes, what we think we want so badly isn’t even about the thing itself. It’s about pride. It’s about validation. It’s about proving a point. And God, in His mercy, will let us chase shadows until we see how empty they really are. David prayed, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24). Because what’s the point of gaining the whole world if, in the process, you lose yourself?
David certainly learned. What did he see that made him cry, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word” Maybe it was the memory of a single careless glance at Bathsheba that spiraled into adultery, deception, and murder. Maybe it was the child he lost because of that sin. Maybe it was the weight of hearing the prophet Nathan say, “The sword shall never depart from your house” . Maybe that was why he later wrote, “Teach me to number my days, that I may gain a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12).
What did Solomon see that made him warn against the immoral woman, calling her path a highway to the grave? (Proverbs 7:27). Maybe it was the way his own heart was turned away from God by the very foreign women he once thought he could handle. Maybe it was watching his kingdom suffer the consequences of his compromises.
What did Paul wrestle with that made him write, “Flee youthful lusts” (2 Timothy 2:22) and “I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified” The same Paul, who once struggled between doing what was right and what his flesh wanted, later became the one to warn us about the cost of careless living.
The beautiful thing? Wisdom doesn’t have to be learned the hard way. God is generous with it. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him” (James 1:5). We don’t have to make every mistake to be wise; we can take God’s word at face value. But even when we do stumble, He is kind enough to turn our lessons into wisdom.
I’ve come to see that when God warns me, He’s not being strict; He’s being merciful. He’s sparing me from dancing the wrong dance and receiving the masquerade’s cane. And if He’s teaching you now, whether through His Word, convictions, or even hard experiences, learn quickly. Because wisdom ignored today often becomes regret tomorrow.
With thoughts of kindness,
ABBA’s Shofar