Your Tears Won’t Trick God

He gives gifts based on wisdom, not manipulation.

Beloved Friend,

You know how Nigerian parents are. Today, they’re shouting, “No boyfriend in my house!” and tomorrow, they’re asking, “Where is your husband?” If you remind them of how they banned relationships, they’ll just act like they don’t remember. But at the time, they weren’t being wicked, they just knew you weren’t ready for what you were asking for.

Now, if our earthly parents, with all their imperfections, can make wise decisions about when to allow certain things in our lives, how much more God?

Jesus said, “if you, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him?” (Matthew 7:11). This tells us something important: God gives gifts, but He gives them wisely.

You see, you can’t emotionally manipulate God. You can’t strong-arm Him into answering your prayers just because you’ve shed tears. I know we sing “When we pray, He answers us. When we cry, He hears our voice”and yes, God hears. But He’s not just listening to your words; He’s examining the motive behind them.

A parent knows when their child is truly hungry versus when they’re just crying because they want ice cream. You can’t deceive them with crocodile tears. So why do we think we can deceive the One who searches the depths of our hearts? (Jeremiah 17:10).

But before you think I’m saying crying to God isn’t valid, let’s be clear: there are times when God calls us to cry out to Him. In Exodus 3:7, God said, “I have surely seen the oppression of My people who are in Egypt, and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters, for I know their sorrows.” The Israelites cries weren’t manipulative; they were a genuine outpouring of their suffering, and God responded with deliverance.

Psalm 34:17 also says, “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles.” So yes, there’s a place for crying out to God, but there’s a difference between a heart that cries in surrender and one that cries in entitlement.

Let’s be real; haven’t we all been there? Feeling moody or crying over something, only to later wonder, Why was I so dramatic? We blame stress, hormones, or emotions running wild, but if we can’t always trust our own feelings, why do we assume our hearts are always right? Even Elijah, after calling down fire from heaven, got so overwhelmed that he told God, “It is enough! Now, Lord, take my life” (1 Kings 19:4). He thought his feelings were valid, but God knew better. Instead of granting his emotional request, God gave him rest and nourishment because that was what he truly needed.

Think about Hannah. She desperately wanted a child, but it wasn’t until her desire aligned with God’s will that she conceived Samuel (1 Samuel 1:10-11). At first, maybe she just wanted a son to remove her shame, but when she surrendered and vowed to dedicate him to the Lord, everything changed. She didn’t just get what she wanted, she became the kind of person who could steward the blessing.

Contrast that with the Israelites in the wilderness. They wanted meat so badly that they nagged and grumbled until God finally gave them quail (Numbers 11:4-6, 18-20). But what happened? “While the meat was still between their teeth, the anger of the Lord was aroused against them” (Numbers 11:33). They got what they wanted, but at what cost? Not every answered prayer is a blessing. Sometimes, it’s a lesson. His mercy can also be seen in Him withholding certain things from us. Sometimes, God allows us to experience the consequences of our desires to teach us a greater understanding of reliance on His wisdom and provision. It is a reminder to trust God's plan and to approach Him with gratitude and faithfulness.

Now, look at Solomon. When God asked him what he wanted, he could have said riches, long life, or the downfall of his enemies. But instead, he asked for wisdom, not for selfish gain, but to govern God’s people well (1 Kings 3:5-9). And because his request wasn’t self-centered, God not only granted him wisdom but also gave him wealth and honor beyond measure (1 Kings 3:10-13). Solomon didn’t have to manipulate God, his heart was in the right place, and that made all the difference.

This is why scripture warns us: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9). I’ve been realizing this more and more. I’ve found myself asking God to correct my motives behind certain desires; motives I didn’t even know existed until the Holy Spirit convicted me of them. And He’s still convicting me. Just because I feel like I need something doesn’t mean I actually do.

David understood this, which is why he prayed, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me”(Psalm 139:23-24). He didn’t just assume his desires were right, he constantly asked God to examine and refine him.

God doesn’t waste His resources. He’s not going to hand you something today only for you to discard it tomorrow. He’s not holding back to frustrate you; He’s waiting for you to mature into what you’re asking for. Because a blessing at the wrong time is no blessing at all.

So before you frustrate yourself crying over something God hasn’t given you yet, take a step back. Why do I want this? Is it just for me, or is it for His glory? Because when your desires align with His will, you won’t try to manipulate Him, He will willingly give you what’s best for you, at the perfect time.

With thoughts of kindness,

ABBA’s Shofar